Eureeka's Castle RULED. It was the first thing I ever really saw on Cable TV (Cablevision) when we got it in late July of 1993. In the face of Barney the special purple retard (see also, dinomania with regards to E.V.O), and lack of interest in Sesame Street and Lamb Chop's Play Along during that Summer of the Broken Left Elbow, that show ruled.

Eureeka's Castle Primer; Cast o' EureekaVania 3!
(I couldn't find enough good pictures of the cast on that Internet thing, so I had to make a few. You'll see.)

Eureeka

Baggy-eyed, mysteriously alluring, dual-horned wicca chick practicing to become a wizard of some kind. There were two models for this character. The other one, which appeared in newer skits as well as the Halloween and Christmas specials, looked exceptionally better when compared to the dispensable former. Uses Moon Rod and screws up spells. Drops Moon Rod when defeated.

Magellan

An extremely horrifying , 3-year old dragon who is by all accounts THE MAN. Can't draw circles with a crayon. Doesn't usually defacate all over himself.

Tail

Follows him around and causes lots of trouble. Cannot discern which end has more brains.

Slurms

These colorful things fell out from between Magellan and Tail and have a mind of their own. May petrify.

Cooie

Before selling out to Creatures and Gamefreak to become later known as something that sounds like "Peekachew," this yellow wig richocheted around the castle shouting "COO!!!", and ruled. Gave Magellan nose-kisses.

Batly and Arachnoid Thing

Nearsighted Phantom Bat wannabe who talks like a frikkin Fake Fonz wiseacre, can't fly, and lives in a bat house with several soupy yellow jars of dead insects and an evil scorpion spider with huge teeth. Without glasses, resembles that Diff'rent Strokes kid with an astigmatism.

Trader Knack

Yiddish lowlife pilot man who wanders around the Castle and also likes to break things to put them back together. He'll also trade something, like Santa's Yule Log, for some other impossible crap, like a tennis-court or expired milk.

Bog

A moldy yellow germ thing living in the moat with its sister. Together their powers combine to form THE MOAT TWINS!!! MOAT TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!!! AN INSATIABLE LUST FOR PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!*

*My satiable lust for peanut butter sandwiches in early 1994 can be attributed directly to this. I did a lot of foolish things as a youth between the ages of 13--16. Realizing this, I've become very wise and mature. Back to my topic.

Quagmire

The purple girl one.

Fountain Fish Trio

Stone Fish statues sing Elvis-inspired jives and usually regurgitate water after their songs. May petrify.

Giant

Not the WCW Giant or Paul Wight, but a big, lanky, grubby, red-haired full body puppet who reads and occaisionally harasses the inhabitants of his "Castle Music Box" from time to time.

Mice

I just remembered them as I was freestyling this beastiary, which means I really don't care about them. The rotund one is a blasted eat attacking melty. BLARGH!

Sir Grakul

An empty Goya bean can armor thing. I think the mice lived there.

Sinyasopsis:
Sesame Street confined to a castle and its surrounding vicinity with theme-characters.

Por Ejemplo del episodio or something...

The show began with a gigantic guy proclaiming his love for reading--as he was reading--and he suddenly stubs his Giant Welfare Shoe on a castle. Delighted, he twists the key on its side and everything goes to pot from there. Stone fish spew spit, a blue bat falls from aloft, an anti-Weight Watchers mouse appears, some purple haired guy bangs his pots, then everyone gets going for the minute-long intro.

If you were lucky, you saw fragments of skits relative to a cohesive storyline; otherwise, you'd sit through decades-old Euro-animated cartoons about Towser, some space alien clay things, and random clips of 8 year olds in Caucasia (wherever THAT is) presumedly doing Caucasian stuff. Like making cheap instruments out of cardboard and beans and then parading around the neighborhood blaring the Eureeka's Castle theme. Or the one about the Japanese Kid whose furry creature almost got tossed into the dryer. Luckily, the Mexican Lady shrieked loudly enough for him to pinpoint its relative location.

It could also be seen on weekends for 30 minutes, but religiously, the entire show was a deliberate two hours in length. It kicked off Nickelodeon's Nick Jr. at 10:00am, and spent its piece at 12:00pm to make way for Sharon, Lois, Bram, and their walking foam elephant associate. Thus, it was picnic time. As the credits finally rolled, everyone gets ready to do lunch. The blue bat brings one of his cloudy jars of insect corpses. Those two animated diseases bring several bricks of peanut butter. The freaky pilot considers trading his own chocolate cake for spaghetti, which is promptly inhaled by the giant rat. Finally, the horn chick magics up a banquet of foods irrelevant to what was rounded up at the table to begin with.

All became dark and silent.

Then, in late 1994, FACE made his debut, Eureeka got pushed back to one hour, then half an hour, vanished from weekdays to their allocated half hours on Saturday morning, and finally, zero minutes every day of the week, all week, for the years following 1994. I've wanted that blasted face annihiliated ever since.

I also heard that that one guy from Blues Clues died from being too coked up one night. Considering the Ultimate Fool he was making of himself on camera, who could blame him... Those Teletubbie midgets were always in disguise, so I have to give Steve props for letting it all hang out. Eeeww....

Recently, a loyal DCTP fan named Noiman Cascade recovered some flyers and video of the pilot episodes, and guess what? Not only were the screen captures terrible, but Slogra (whose name here IS Berrigan), along with a Blue Gargoyle Bat (who was referred to as Blues), were in it! CHECK IT OUT!!!

Here's Nickleodeon's 1987 promotional poster for the show, featuring the Bashin' Both. Clockwise from top, Magellan's Head, Blues, Bog, Batly, Spider Thing, Eureeka, Cooie, Obese Rodent, Trader Knack, Quagmire, Tail, Berrigan.

For some reason, standing with your mouth agape constitutes a smile.

No thank you.

A scene from one pilot skit:

Batly: And it was THAT big!

Blues: Wow...

Berrigan:Yeah, that's really not interesting. And stop staring at me, you big green fruit.

(After this skit, Blues no longer appears on the tape.)

Mageallan: Hiya Batly!

Batly: Heya, I see you pimpin' again, eh? Nnnyeeeeeeeah...

Eureeka: Great! Now that Batly's here, we can have a menage a trois after all! Tee hee hee! Look, it's Berrigan! Hi, Berrigan!

Slogra: . . . . . . . This really sucks. I quit. I think I'm gonna go try out for that 'other' Castle gig. That's what Blues did.