"I had an idea for a new fan-submission section of DCTP. I asked Eric about it and he okayed it. Thus, DCTP is now allowing its fans to send in their own THE MAN lists, providing they're not ridiculously long and have a decent explanation for each pick. So send away, fellow DCTP fans!"

---Josh "Funk DOC" Ballard

Thank you, Funk DOC, and thank him, loyal DCTP followers. Send in your THE MAN lists with "Funk DOC's THE MAN lists!" in the title, and, as difficult as it might seem, try to keep the following statutes in mind:

1. Each THE MAN candidate must have a fitting definition to justify their appearance in this sacred list of sacred-type stuff.

2. Except for Mew the 2nd, no Pokey-mon will be accepted into The Funk DOC's THE MAN lists.

3. Any and all Digimon, however, WILL be accepted. Their design and colors are superior anyway.

And on July 1, 2001,...

4. Repeat MAN listings allowed! Just explain your take on why you choose them to be THE MAN.

2001

From Josh "Funk DOC" Ballard:

Zangief: The very first of my favorite fighting-game character type, the grappler. Somehow always manages to remain a top-tier character over the years.

Sypha Belnades: My single-favorite CV character ever. I don't imagine I'd have to explain her any further.

Ryuji Yamazaki: SNK's resident sociopath. A bit of Dhalsim and Zangief mixed with a bunch of other unique moves and a cool voice.

The Moai heads: Always seen in the Gradius series, and even more so in the Parodius series. They just look so cool, especially in real life.

Brad Fang: The real star of the Contra Hard Corps. He has more original weapons than any other character in that game, with only the flamethrower appearing in any previous games. Plus "It's payback time!" is a cool Genesis soundbite.

Epsilon-2: The bird-like creature who starred in Treasure's better-than-Contra Hard Corps-or-Gunstar Heroes Alien Soldier. I give him a slight edge over Fang because all his weapons either fire ridiculously fast or are ridiculously powerful.

Sir Anthony Hopkins: Hannibal Lecter is such an excellent character. In both movies, Hopkins was the standout, and he made Hannibal look almost heroic. Now I'd better stop before I sound like those people from the Internet Movie Database...

The Hanson Bros.: From the 1970's classic Slapshot, these triplets at first appear to be nothing more than Speed Racer-obsessed nerds. However, when they get into a hockey game, they immediately start smashing people into the boards and punching them. Damned funny. The best moment was when an opposing player ran into the crowd, so they went in and just punched people at random while looking for him. Goons, indeed.

Chris "The Crippler" Benoit: I decided to only put one wrestler on here, and chose this man. He's always been underrated due to his general lack of personality (though the WWF has fixed that problem a little bit), but his wrestling skillz way more than make up for it. Has been known to have especially great matches with the likes of Eddy Guerrero, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho, and most recently Kurt Angle.

Blue Mary (or her real name, Mary Ryan): The coolest video game character EVER. An agent working for the government, she is the rival of Yamazaki and SNK head villain Geese Howard. Her fighting style's very unique, with pro-wrestling moves, more realistic submissions, and high-flying stuff. She's sort of like fighting games' Chris Benoit, except with a personality.

CATS: Main villain of Zero Wing, originator of the catchphrases "YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION.", "YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME.", and especially "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US." Come to think of it, he does look pretty cool and could've had potential even with normal dialogue.

Geese Howard: Main villain of SNK, created in the same time as M. Bison and much, MUCH cooler. Notable for being the first-ever fighting game character to use reversal moves. In the original Fatal Fury he is quite possibly the single-hardest boss in any fighting game. Also, he's the Dr. Wily of fighting games, as he's been presumed to be dead some 4 or 5 times now, but is still kicking around. I think it is kinda strange how he falls off a building in every Slogra'n game he's in... Finally, Geese has the most ridiculous motion for a move I've ever seen: For his Raging Storm super, you start at down/back, then go straight from there into the old toward-to-back motion, then go to down/toward and press punch.

From Rory on April 15, 2001:

The Ghostbusters: because they are the only people who can kick booty, take names, and maintain an extremely healthy line of merchandise. Plus, with a name like Egon, you know there is fearlessness there.

The Paperboy: because that is one screwed up neighborhood

From Catastrophe on June 30, 2001:

Bowser Koopa: I call him Lord Bowser..for GOOD reason! Manages to steal the princess...and always gets away with it. He fell in lava, down into a pit, was thrown into spiked bombs, and he still lives. Probably immortal. He'll be partying with Drac in 4097.

Squall Leonhart: He was the only one left standing after a treacherous battle between Raijin and Fujin. He was built like a tank, and Renzokukened like there was no tomorrow. Fujin eventually gave up, and got a door prize for participating. Squall's comment on the fight? "Whatever."

Iria:(I don't know if she has a last name) This chick is still the MAN. She had to deal with that freaky headed Zeiram, and still managed to look good doing it! She also had to kill her brother, who was being used to give Zeiram life. Man, that was sad. Watch the #&^$$#* movie.

Scott 'Member No.0001 of the Chris Belmont Club' Helfrich: This guy here...I'm telling ya. I would NOT be where I am today without him and his website. I'd be saying 'Castlevania? What the..?' without him! All hail...maybe not. I still owe him 40,976 pictures too.

Mega Man X: Number 1) Without him, there'd be no Zero. Number 2) His games kick donkey. Number 3) His series is up to 6. Now *that's* MAN material. Number 4) He's all naive and stuff, but still kills all who oppose him. Number 5) He gets new armor every game. At least he has fashion sense.

Kain: He sucks blood...from a distance. Dracula himself can't do that! He can do everything Alucard can do, but he sounds cooler. I love the way he deals with people that think you're there to help them. *Slurp* Ah, that was refreshing.

H.R.Giger: He created Aliens. Which led to Species. Which led to Dark Horse Comics. Which led to Aliens vs. Predator. *drool*

Sigma: Bald is beautiful, says he. Possesses (lot's of S's) Zero with viri, causing him to go Maverick. Can build Reploid girls if he wants to. Deal's with Dynamo without going insane. Now that deserve's some kind of award.

Simon 'I refuse to die' Belmont: You all know him. He had to go through the horror that is Akumajo Dracula X68000. And he's made a million appearances. He's probably even in SotN. Just look harder next time.

Sensei: Draw-er of all that is Mega Man X-ish. I'll overlook his crazy 'shade white with light blue' thing he does. Just because he's The MAN. I'm still learning how to say "Draw a picture of Zero in the shower." in Japanese.

Shirley Manson: Only female singer I can listen to. She tell's it like it is. You would think, since her band's name is Garbage, that they suck... Far cry from suckdom, my friends.

Ayami Kojima: LOOK at how she drew Richter. LOOK at how she drew Simon. Look at me envying her. She can draw hentai of Alucard and Maria and sell it. Someone would end up paying thousands for it. Kurt Kalata would befriend this person, and end up getting it for free.

Mewtwo: Since he's the only one of The Imperial that I can mention, I'll mention him. He makes my brother do crazy things. You should see him on Tuesdays.

Eric 'Master of Anime Emoticons' Roman:I'm a good suck up. Seriously, though. Isn't this guy's middle name 'The MAN'? I give him credit not only for making me laugh until I break a rib, but for also scaring the heck outta me. He's coool. I mentioned Slogra and hentai in the same sentence, and he didn't jump out a window like all the ones before him.

MEGA 'LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE' MUR: I would have never gotten into video games or anime without him. Hence no art for CVInteractive. Hence no one noting my existence. Hence me crawling into a hole and dying. He also draws many a Belmont (and their relatives) for me. If he looks at this, he owes me a picture of (insert name here).