Welcome to the collected works of written humor on DCTP, Humoritten!

While some say I originated the funny CastleVania picture, I feel it is the one and only CV Otaku who brought written CastleVania humor into the spotlight. True, we can't forget SnappleVania, but CVO really blew it up HUGETIME!

After The Castle Bathroom put down the toilet seat and flushed for the first time during the middle of Summer 2001, I decided I'd try to pick up where CV Otaku left off. There was no replacing him, please believe it, but I figured I'd try to help keep written CastleVania humor going, since he was the only one I was aware of who kept CV fans interested in creating and sharing it.

For the foundation, I gathered the most amusing textual bits from across DCTP's Written and Miscmix sections and coralled them here for the Grand Glorius Gathering of Grinning.

Some months later, The Castle Bathroom did return, but eventually, as Real Life might have its effect on any framer and meister of the WorldWide, it appears to have once again been lost. It's alright, though; these things happen. Perhaps the seat will be lifted once more, but if not, consider yourself one fortunate blasstard to have witnessed one of the finest collections of fun CV content on The CastleVania WorldWide; The Castle Bathroom.

So, yeah, like I've said before, here're some words you already know, arranged in such a way that I hope you'll enjoy with a mental smile. I'm open to contributions, too, so if you've got something you'd like to add, just hit me on the mail lines!

HUMORITTEN LEGEND

= Plain, bland, yet amusing Text.

= Pretty, attractive, and amusing HTML.

 What would you do for a KastleVania Bar? (Originally from Miscmix.)
In this classic DCTP section, learn about the desparate measures that the hardest of the hardcore CastleVania fans would go through for a FREE CastleVania game! Man, we've got issues!!!

 Too much Symphony of the Night! (Originally from Miscmix.)
This was passed along to me by Ann Mage! You know who she is, don't you? She's the superb artist whose primo SotN Fan Art first blessed the CastleVania Dungeon in March of 1998! Here's a list compiled by various CastleVania Symphony fanatics; you know you've been playing too much of CastleVania Symphony of the Night when...

 Symphony. The New Scripts (Originally from Written.)
Some of the dialogue in Symphony of the Night was so 'expertly' acted, it beared revision to match the acting.

 Baka (Originally from Written.)
Long ago, a vehement CastleVania fanatic named Jim wrote this ingenious e-mail to me regarding his opposition of a futuristic CastleVania (known now as CastleVania: Aria/Dawn of Sorrow). Also, this 1997-98 e-mail perhaps supports the first evidence of 2001's fad of the week, "Leet Speak" (using letters in conjunction with numbers to form words and theoretically render the non-leets helpless and stupified). Later readings make me think that he originally intended for me to post this on Wanted... Hmm... I thought it was pretty funny, anyway.

 Top 10 uses for NU CastleVania! (Originally from the Miscmix.)
Face it. That blasted CastleVania game released for the NU64 in early 1999 was trash (unless you're 11 when you first played it, without knowledge of all games prior). When you're ready to admit it, read this to find out how you can make use of the paperweight. No, not the Dreamcast, your CastleVania 64 cart!

Flame Wars: The Perfect Collection (Originally from Written.)
Let it be known that before Konami ever thought of making CastleVania: Dusk of Sorrow, DCTP was engaged in its own 1999 battle against a Guestbook scourge by the label, "jeremy Fultineer". This is that saga in its uncut entirety. (In retrospect, I call this "How I Learned how to Fight on Internet Message Boards.")

 CastleVaniAnagrams (Originally from the Miscmix.)
An anagram is a word or phrase made simply by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. Check out what happened one day when fellow CastleVaniac Vincent De Boule stopped by an anagraming site...

 Ohbyatchuaries (Originally from the Miscmix.)
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your favorite CastleVania characters have died.

 The History of CastleVania (as told by Lisker)
Lisker, star of The Castle Bathroom and XEXYZ fan extraordirare, provides an amusing, concise summary of the CastleVania saga up to Resurrection.

 Beyond Help...
Some poor soul from PalnetCastleVaniac.om aspires to create a CastleVania III site, but is having a little bit of trouble with the game, primarily, " how come when you digt the 1st boss you die when you touch him?" He turns to Dracula's Curse THE MESSAGE BOARD for help.

 DCTR- CastleVania III Dracula's Curse THE RUMBLE!!! Preshow
Basically DCTPIV001 All-Stars, the DCTR Preshow was to precede the HTML-comic'd Dracula's Curse THE RUMBLE!!! Join DCTP Site Advisor Psycho Andy and I for a fun rundown of the numerous DCTP mates slated to take part in the roughest rumble never fought.

 CastleVana Chroncle: Newbie
Scenes from a newbie's first run of CastleVania: Symphony of the Night, insanely crafted by Sol the Gr8, with my commentary.

 Random Thoughts while playing Symphony
One of my favorite features on The Castle Bathroom (besides almost everything Slogra was in) was a section dedicated to the thoughts that passed through the minds of SotN players as they took care of business. Here're my contributions to TCB's TITANIC list.

You should pheel w3ll
Sol the Gr8 raises my spirits up in this nice moment on DCTMB. Only on CVI,...only on CVI.